Week End

Even a couple of weeks ago I would still get excited on Fridays about the prospect of the weekend.  Oh, the weekend!  It used to mean extra sleep, doodling around working on my various sewing and graphic design projects, re-watching my favorite period dramas.  Not anymore. Now I live in a kind of a "Groundhog Day" time warp--every day is exactly the same.  The only exception is Nat.  Nat's behavior changes gradually, but very noticeably, sometimes even day to day.

Nat loves his "caterpillar" outfit

As I pushed the stroller round the park a few days ago, I thought about my day-to-day activities.  Taking care of baby Nat has been tiring and satisfying--an experience that I find hard to describe.  I enjoy feeding and entertaining him during his awake hours.  At the same time I also enjoy the time I get to myself while he is asleep--a bit of baking and sewing somehow makes me feel a bit more "normal", whatever that means.

Outdoors is just SO bright

As a result I often feel in conflict with myself.  I look forward to Nat's awake times, so that I can play with him.  At the same time I look forward to his bed time, so that I can relax and do my own thing.  It is an endless debate whether or not my feelings are "normal", or whether I should be entirely devoted to my little baby, to the point of being incapable of thinking of anything else.  For my own sanity's sake, I try really hard to avoid this debate with myself.

And now I am off to work on another quilt until the next feeding. Happy Mother's Day!