Oh Pregnancy

A wanted pregnancy is a wonderful thing! 

You plan for it, you read about it, you join an online community of other newly pregnant women, and you think you know what to expect...  All of the knowledge acquisition and sharing is great, and it helps.  Still I seem to be unable to avoid dilemmas and or bizarre conversations--not something I expected, though not surprising either.

I obviously knew that when time came to have children, it would be me and not Nick who sends his body in for a hormonal spin and organ shifting.  (I refuse to even think about delivery just yet.) 

As if the physical gender differences were not enough in themselves, they tremendously contribute to the social issues, particularly at work.  Take the act of informing coworkers of the upcoming event, for example.  A male coworker with a pregnant wife has to inform the team of the impending joy just as much as a pregnant female coworker--so what is so unfair about this?  It turns out that the appropriate, or accepted, timeframe for the man is significantly wider than for a woman.  Theoretically (though I would not suggest this) a man can make the announcement as late as a month before the birth.  A woman could never pull that off. 

In all fairness, it is possible that in this case my many superstitions have exacerbated the problem.  I wanted to wait well into the 2nd trimester, before telling anyone about my condition.  When I was finally ready to tell, I could not schedule a proper meeting with my manager for awhile and then was away on vacation.  Growth apparently comes in bursts, and oh boy did I have a burst during our vacation.  Waiting another 5 days till my meeting became a creativity test for wearing loose, shape-concealing clothing (it turns out that I only own one presentable sweatshirt).  As I revealed the truth of my condition to some of my coworkers, I learned they have already been suspicious for some time--someone suggested that it was the shape (as opposed to size?) that gave me away.

Pregnancy seems like a very personal and a relatively private affair.  (I say "relatively" because 1) here I am writing about it in a public blog, and 2) I have reached the point where my body shape broadcasts my condition to any and all innocent bystanders.)  To avoid the communal rejoicing I decided not to announce my pregnancy in any meetings at work, as many people at my workplace do.  As a result, a lot of people I see on a daily basis did not realize I was pregnant until I started showing.  Some people have been interacting with me as if nothing happened, while others ask direct questions.  I am fine with either.  But not everyone falls into one of these groups.   

Last week, I had a conversation with a coworker, that went something like this:

Lady (blocking my way through the kitchen): Are you... ? [LONG pause]

me:  [LONG pause] Yes, I am.

Lady:  I  would never ask, except that with you it could not be anything else...

me:  [smile and nod]

Lady:  Do you know who it is?

me:  It's a boy. [Resisting the urge to say that it is definitely not a puppy]

Lady:  [Finally moving to unblock the kitchen]  I did a lot of nursing.  So if you have any questions about nursing, please come by and ask.

me:  Thank you very much.  I really appreciate it...

15 weeks (October)

24 weeks (December)

29 weeks (now)

Luckily I have been able mostly to avoid random people touching my stomach.  I attribute my luck to the time of the year--I spend a lot of time in my puffy down coat, which so far has been doing a good job of concealing my bulge.