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| July 3rd |
One of the biggest surprises of going back to work for me was
to discover that going to work seems easier than staying at home and taking
care of my baby. It was hard for me to
admit this realization to myself and even harder to reveal it to others. But I am glad I did--it turned out that to
many it was not surprising at all, and many others had similar feelings in my
situation.
At work I know exactly what I need to accomplish in order to
get my job done. If I do not know how to
do something, at least I know whom to ask for help. If a problem lingers, I escalate the issue,
ask for more help, and otherwise try to approach the problem in a different
way. I have experience and a good amount
of confidence in what I do.
At home I have to make multiple decisions per hour, each of
which has a direct and significant impact on another individual, a little human
being, who has but cannot clearly express his desires, fears or pain. It is exhilarating to see Nat smile at
me. But when that smile turns into a
frown, I find myself troubleshooting the worse "bug" of my life. People say, "Mother knows
best." Oh how I wish I was one of
"those" people for whom it is true.
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