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Monday, July 16, 2012

Summertime, And The Living Is Easy

I have now officially joined the ranks of working moms.  Let the flood of guilt and contradicting emotions begin.
July 3rd
One of the biggest surprises of going back to work for me was to discover that going to work seems easier than staying at home and taking care of my baby.  It was hard for me to admit this realization to myself and even harder to reveal it to others.  But I am glad I did--it turned out that to many it was not surprising at all, and many others had similar feelings in my situation. 

At work I know exactly what I need to accomplish in order to get my job done.  If I do not know how to do something, at least I know whom to ask for help.  If a problem lingers, I escalate the issue, ask for more help, and otherwise try to approach the problem in a different way.  I have experience and a good amount of confidence in what I do.

At home I have to make multiple decisions per hour, each of which has a direct and significant impact on another individual, a little human being, who has but cannot clearly express his desires, fears or pain.  It is exhilarating to see Nat smile at me.  But when that smile turns into a frown, I find myself troubleshooting the worse "bug" of my life.  People say, "Mother knows best."  Oh how I wish I was one of "those" people for whom it is true.  

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