Donating Bone Marrow

Five years ago I registered with the National Marrow Donor Program.  It is notoriously difficult to find a match for someone needing a bone marrow transplant, and I wanted to help.  At the same time, because it is so difficult to find a match, I did not really expect to ever be contacted. 

So you can imagine my shock when last October I received an email informing me that I was a possible match.  I followed the instructions and got in touch with the people in the donor program.  I had to make some difficult choices.  For a variety of reasons the program provided me, the perspective donor, with limited information while asking me to make an unconditional go/no-go decision upfront. 

For example, there are multiple methods for extracting bone marrow.  The least invasive and the most common one used currently requires the donor to take medication for at least a week.  For a breastfeeding mother like me, 7 days of medication implied 7 days of pumping and dumping, while my baby ate frozen breastmilk or formula.  I knew my baby would be in no danger of malnutrition, but I worried that he would inadvertently be weaned by the time I was ready to breastfeed him again. 

Many questions whirled around my mind.  Who is more important to me, my baby or a leukemia patient I have never met?  Can I compare the benefits of breastfeeding to an attempt to give someone another chance to live?  Can I subject my family to the extra work that will result from my pumping around the clock, having to feed the baby from the bottle around the clock, not to mention dealing with me potentially feeling weak and/or sick from the medication and the donation itself? 

Feeling overwhelmed, I called my very good friend whose brother has now been cancer free for two years after having a bone marrow transplant.  Talking to her made the decision easy.  I never wanted to wonder whether someone could have lived but died because I was worried that my baby might wean too early.  I never wanted to wonder if parents lost their child because I was worried about the possibility of having to feed formula instead of breastmilk to my baby.  I never wanted to wonder if children lost their parent because I was worried about having to do more work while feeling tired.  My concerns fizzled away in comparison to losing someone who could have lived.

So I agreed to proceed.

As it turns out, my bone marrow was not needed this time around.  Perhaps a better match was found, or the patient decided against the procedure, or the doctors decided against the procedure for this patient.  I will never know what really happened, but I am glad that I will never have to think back to this episode in my life and wonder "what if..."